True Love Abides
by mscatmoon
Summary: Twenty years have passed, but some things never change. The Ghost Machine reveals a glimpse of Ianto Jones - in the future. Now they must figure out how this vision comes to pass...


**TRUE LOVE ABIDES**

_Look how far we've come_  
_Do we know who we are?_  
_Stranded on a mountaintop_  
_Trying to catch a falling star*_

"Bloody hell," Gwen Cooper-Williams muttered darkly to her second in command Brett Thompson as he watched her annoyed face from the computer screen. "They _would_ have to decide to do this now, when I'm away at conference."

"No big deal. We can handle it," Brett told her with a touch of his own annoyance. Brett had the distinction of being the first American to be a member of Torchwood Three – the first real one, anyway. He'd just made second and had had to fight his way into the job three times as hard as a UK native would have had to. She had helped sell him to the others though; Gwen believed it was important to have a second who brought a different perspective to the job, who disagreed with and challenged you. Brett fit that bill perfectly. "It's just some newbie from T2 come to observe us for a few days. The timing is actually perfect for them, considering some of the topics on the table at your meeting."

It had only been a few years ago that the first summit conference had taken place. A week long meeting attended by Torchwood, UNIT, and various branches of government, its purpose was to foster smoother interdepartmental relations between them. Torchwood Glasgow had recently expanded to a small office staff, and they were still fighting about whether or not to rebuild Torchwood One. The money spent on repairing The Hub had ensured that it hadn't even come under consideration again until recently. Gwen was under pressure to expand T3, something she didn't want to do. Brett disagreed; but she was there to argue her point, not he.

"Yeah, all right. Just keep a close eye on him, Thompson."

"No worries, I'll keep him chained to the desk when we're busy," Brett retorted sarcastically, cutting the connection. "Enjoy it while it lasts, girlie, the retirement clock is ticking down," he told the dark screen, earning a loud snort from Powell Collins, their computer expert.

"Did I hear someone say something about bondage?" a new voice asked hopefully.

Brett turned towards the newcomer, who was standing next to Andrea by the door. He dwarfed poor tiny Andi. His accent hinted at Scottish, but had more than a huge dose of American in it, which was surprising. He was beaming at them with a blinding smile. Brett didn't trust a man who showed that many teeth when he smiled.

"You must be James Jones," Brett said, moving forward to hold out his hand in greeting, covertly assessing their guest. He was dressed simply in a brown leather jacket, blue T shirt, jeans, and sneakers. Even if Brett didn't trust him, there was no denying their visitor would be gorgeous no matter what he was wearing.

"You can call me J.J. if you want," Jones said as he returned the handshake, _not_-so-covertly looking Thompson over.

"Welcome to Torchwood Three, Mr. Jones," Brett said. He gestured toward the desk where Powell had abandoned all pretense of working and swiveled his chair around to watch the scene. "This is our computer expert, Powell Collins."

"Call me Coll, everyone does," he instructed.

"Hey doc!" Brett yelled, and a head poked itself up from the medical bay. "Llew Cromley, our medic."

A hand waved at the guest briefly. "Sorry I can't shake, elbows deep in alien guts at the moment," he explained before disappearing again.

Brett continued. "Fabian Moss is our archive/research expert, he's somewhere down in the archives right now." He wondered at the slight flinch the newcomer hadn't been able to hide from shrewd eyes.

"I hope he remembered to leave a trail of breadcrumbs," Powell quipped.

"You've met our office girl Andi," Brett nodded toward her, ignoring the comment from Collins. "And I'm Brett Thompson, second in command of Torchwood Three."

"What about your first in command?" Jones queried.

"Oh, that would be Gwen Cooper-Williams. They must have mentioned to you that she's away at the conference right now."

"Oh yeah, it slipped my mind," Jones responded, as he noticed Andi quietly heading back to her desk in reception. "You could do with some more women in here," he opined, looking around, "balance out all the testosterone. So, do I get the tour?"

Brett motioned for James to follow as he began showing him around. Collins abandoned his computer to follow them.

"I think Gwen rather enjoys the proportions," Collins told James with a smirk. "You should see it when her husband and son are around. She calls us her 'boys.'"

"Her husband doesn't get jealous?" James asked.

Collins laughed at that. "The old girl's in her fifties now, I don't think he's worrying about us fancying a shag."

"You people have an age bias?" Jones asked, sounding a bit affronted although he himself looked to be in his mid to late thirties.

"No, Coll has a _gender_ bias," Brett answered with a wink. "This is Gwen's office," he explained as they walked past it, but Jones had suddenly detoured inside and was standing in front of a wall of pictures.

"What's this?" Jones asked quietly, eyes glued to the display.

"Memorial to the Torchwood Three employees killed in the line of duty," Brett answered, his voice equally subdued. "That was one of Gwen's better ideas," he admitted. "So we'll never forget them and the sacrifices they made."

The photos took up most of the wall, labeled with the names. The majority of them were informal shots, capturing a normal day in the too short lives of the staff. At the very top of the collage was a group portrait showing several smiling people. Torchwood 3, Christmas 1999 was written underneath. Next came three photos side by side. Suzie Costello, Toshiko Sato, and Owen Harper. Underneath those, a man in an impeccably tailored suit smiled out from his photo, his blue eyes soft with some nameless emotion and totally focused on someone who was out of camera range. Ianto Jones. Underneath that, more, too many more. Lois Habiba, Andy Davidson, Liz Johnson, and underneath those more still. Too many for only twenty years.

"It's wrong," Collins rasped in a rough voice. "It's not fair. I know this is a dangerous job, but we should be able to keep our people safer. We shouldn't have to lose this many."

"No one in Torchwood lives to retirement," Brett added softly.

"Except her," Collins spat, startling Jones out of his intent stare. "No one here has lived past the five year mark except her. Some of us have even lost spouses and children to Torchwood deaths, but not her. There's even been speculation that she can't die."

James' eyebrows rose to his hairline. "I don't think that's possible," he ventured carefully.

"She's lucky," Brett put in. "Some people resent her for that."

"So why do you stay?" James asked Collins.

Collins glance flickered briefly to Brett, then away. "I'm addicted. It gets into your blood, under your skin, until you can't break away. The thought of going back to a 'normal' life makes you want to slit your wrists."

"I hope Torchwood Glasgow has better luck," Brett told Jones, steering him away from the office wall.

**Chapter One:**

_Here's to what we've left behind us  
Here's to what we keep inside  
May the road that lies before us  
Lead to a place where love abides*_

A figure dressed in black slipped through the shadows of the dark Hub. The perimeter alarms never went off, and the CCTV would show nothing amiss the next morning. There were no alerts, because there was no one unauthorized on the premises.

Jack Harkness bypassed the computer for the time being and contented himself with searching through any files and notes he could find scattered around. He was good but he was no Toshiko Sato, and he wasn't sure he could go poking around in Collins' computer system and totally cover his tracks, not until he knew more about their security. Hopefully that information would be soon forthcoming.

The new summit conferences were making certain people very nervous, and the idea of resurrecting Torchwood One was leaving a bad taste in the mouth. Jack refused to believe that Gwen's Torchwood had changed so much from his that it was a danger, but he agreed with the Doctor that it needed to be checked out. So, while an unexpected guest showed up to take part in the conference (he would have loved to have seen Gwen's face when the Doctor showed up), Jack was infiltrating the Hub. It was disturbing easy, both to fool them into thinking he was a trainee from Glasgow and to just waltz into the Hub in the middle of the night. Sure, his access codes would always be active, but back in the day when he ran Torchwood, there was rarely a time when the place was empty. Living at the Hub and not sleeping much ensured that the premises were as secure as they could be. Only one person could get under his radar.

Almost against his will, Jack found himself gravitating back into the office, to the photos. He smiled a little at Alex's team. He wasn't in that picture because he'd taken it. He found himself both relieved and annoyed that this current team didn't recognize him. He never had any intentions of returning to Torchwood after leaving in 2009, but it almost felt like he'd been erased from history. Maybe this was what it was like to die. Time passed and you were forgotten, as if you'd never existed… Was he really still alive or was he just a ghost of the man that had been, floating through the universe doomed never to truly be a part of it again?

Jack gave himself a moment of remembrance for each of his old team members until he reached Ianto's picture. He lingered there, fingers tracing the smiling figure. He tried to remember when it had been taken. He knew he'd been the one Ianto was looking at, but couldn't place it otherwise and that made him angry with himself.

He'd left Earth a destroyed man, and it had taken a long time to decide life was worth something again. The pain faded, became a dull ache. Memories frayed at the edges like an old photograph. The feelings though, they were still strong. He cultivated them very carefully, determined that they would never leave. That he would at least keep his promise. Ianto had deserved so much more, but this was all he had to offer.

Giving himself a shake, Jack glanced down at his watch and realized he'd been lost in thought longer than he'd realized. Best play it safe and call it a night. He had a lot more snooping to do, but he had the run of the place and it could wait until tomorrow night. With one last lingering look at Ianto, he turned and left the Hub.

XXX

Jack leaned on the railing, watching the birds gliding through the air over the bay. Every few minutes he glanced back toward the water tower and down at his watch. Nearly nine in the bloody morning, and still no one shown up for work. In his day, there would usually be someone arriving by eight thirty at the latest. He smirked to himself; seemed he couldn't get away from comparing this team to his. It wasn't fair, but coming back had brought up a lot of feelings again and he couldn't help himself.

Deciding to wait over by the door, Jack turned and almost ran into someone. "Excuse me," he murmured, intending on continuing on his way, only to find it blocked by the stranger.

A teenage boy with sandy brown hair stood in front of him, staring at him like he was Moses and the Second Coming all rolled into one. Jack recognized the look; it wasn't the first time he'd seen it aimed towards him.

"You're Jack Harkness!" the boy breathed incredulously, reaching out a hand to touch his jacket as if to confirm that he was real. "Oh my god… I don't believe it! It's really you."

"And you are?" Jack asked with a smirk.

"Ianto."

"What?" he barked.

"Ianto Williams. Gwen's me mam."

And Jack's life just got a whole lot more complicated.

"I've heard so much about you, and… does she know you're here?!"

Jack glanced towards the Hub with a sigh. He reached out and grasped the kid's arm (carefully not noticing how eyes followed the touch or throat bobbled as Ianto swallowed) and steered him over to a bench, motioning for him to sit down.

"Okay, kid, I'm gonna level with you. I need your help on something. Are you willing to go along with me, no questions asked?"

Adoring eyes widened at his words. A nervous bob of Adam's apple and Ianto nodded. "Anything," he vowed. "You…you're a hero. It would be an honor to work with you."

"And what would your mam think about it?"

Ianto's eyes widened. "Can we keep this just between us?" he began pleadingly. "I want to join Torchwood but she refuses to allow it. Just my luck my mother is the boss."

Jack smiled, stuffing down the twinge of guilt he felt at manipulating Gwen's son. "We'll make a deal then. I won't tell her if you keep my secret. I'm here on a very important mission, but everyone thinks I'm James Jones from Torchwood Glasgow. You can't tell them who I really am, not yet at least."

"You got it, James," Ianto agreed readily. "What else can I do?" he asked excitedly.

"I'll let you know," Jack promised. "It's a good job I ran into you; I could use the backup on this." He hoped he hadn't laid it on too thick, but judging by the way the boy was beaming up at him, that wasn't a problem. Who knew, maybe Ianto Williams could be of help in some way.

Jack began to stride towards the Hub when he saw Brett arrive, Ianto following him like a puppy. "You people like to have a lie in, don't you?" he said in disapproval as he followed Thompson through the door that led to what used to be a fake tourist office, but was now was just an office that they no longer tried to pretend was anything at all.

"As long as the rift isn't active, yeah," Brett answered mildly. "I see you've met Ianto."

"Ran into each other. Literally," Jack said with a smile for Williams. Then his thoughts backpedaled. _The rift? That's supposed to be closed. I—we closed it. _Painful memories flooded him, and he had to force his mind back to the job at hand. Maybe this Torchwood was into something it shouldn't be, after all. He'd have to find out how that had happened... Why didn't he know that?

"Today's bonding day," Ianto explained. "Mam likes me to go along for those."

"What's a bonding day?" Jack asked as Collins joined them.

"We're going to the petting zoo," the recent arrival said, pulling a face.

"The what?" Jack asked incredulously.

Brett explained. "Gwen doesn't want us to lose touch with the community, or what life is like outside of Torchwood. She expects us to cultivate our empathy and understanding, so once a month we have to go somewhere together and do something 'normal' and meaningful. It could be passing out food to the poor, or spending the afternoon with young cancer patients, like that. Today we spend a couple of hours petting the animals. It's actually not so bad," he belied his smirk by adding.

"Is Gwen nuts?" Jack asked.

Collins laughed aloud at that. "Better than the mandatory once a month shift at Flat Holm we each have to do."

Jack just barely managed to keep his reaction to the name off of his face. "Flat Holm, what's that?" he asked mildly.

Brett gave a sharp warning look at Collins. "Nothing you need to be concerned about, Jones. As soon as the others arrive, we can leave."

Jack tried to swallow down his irritation and sense of disorientation, whilst ignoring the almost knowing look William's was giving him. Gwen's Torchwood was going to take a lot of getting used to.

XXX

The second night, Jack spent re-familiarizing himself with the Hub, winding his way around the lower levels, cells, archives. The base was built to last, it would take more than one bomb to totally destroy it and much of the lower levels were the same as they'd always been. It was comforting, and Jack was happy to lose himself in the well known atmosphere. He investigated the more recent part of the archives, learning all he could about the things Torchwood had been involved in of late. So far there was no evidence of any unsavory practices, but he knew he had a lot more work to do before either of them would be satisfied that all was well.

One change that had been made was that a larger secure archive safe was now located behind the armory, rather than the small one he'd kept in his office. Jack approached it, tentatively trying his old password. When it opened for him, he shook his head, unsure whether it was a stupid or brilliant idea of Gwen's to keep using it.

Inside was a mix of new and old. He shifted through them, separating them into categories in his mind; stuff that had been there when he was in charge, new items he recognized, and new things that were alien to him. He had to admit to a sense of excitement at seeing a few pieces of unidentified artifacts whose mystery called to him to solve.

And then his fingers closed around an item he hadn't seen or even thought of in a long time. He pulled it out and stared at it.

The Ghost Machine.

Jack knew what he was going to do even before he did it. The button pushed, the world faded out and he held his breath, both praying and dreading.

_ Ianto stood in front of one of the cabinets, filing something. Jack was behind him, arms slipped around his waist._

_ "Everyone is gone," he said in a silky voice, kissing the nape of Ianto's neck. He loved the shiver of reaction his nearness caused. Couldn't get enough of it, in fact._

_ "I'm almost done in here," Ianto told him. Resisting. It was just an act and they both knew it._

_ "I've only just started," Jack responded with a grin, hands sliding up his chest, fingers began loosening the tie. _

_ Ianto's body pressed into him as the man leaned back purposefully, hands freezing in mid-file. Jack took advantage and dropped one hand down to the front of his lover's trousers, cupping the growing bulge waiting for him._

_ Ianto moaned, and the sound went straight to both Jack's groins._

_ "I think you're through here," Jack said with finality. "Don't you?"_

_ Instead of answering, Ianto turned and captured Jack's lips with his own._

"No..." Jack whispered as the scene faded, too soon. Tears he hadn't cried in a long time slid down his cheeks and the echoes of emotions lingered. It was love. He'd loved Ianto, he could clearly feel it now, with the help of the machine. Fresh shame hit him as he no longer even remembered why he couldn't tell him, not even as Ianto lay dying in his arms.

After he'd pulled himself together again, Jack studied the second half of the machine. He'd once declared it too dangerous, said it wasn't for them. Now though, he'd already given in to a moment of selfish weakness. With the other half, the part that showed the future, he might be able to find out something about whether Torchwood was in trouble or not. It could prove useful in his investigation.

Making his decision, Jack carried the machine back up to the office. It was probably the best place to get a glimpse of a future with useful intel in it. It might take some sorting out, no telling when in the future he'd see, but it was worth a shot. Taking a deep breath, he pushed the button…

_ The office looked almost the same, except the items on the desk were different. Jack was a bit taken aback to see himself sitting in the chair behind the desk. He smiled at someone in the doorway, and the joy that filled Jack was unexpected. It was a feeling he hadn't known in decades._

_ ...And then Ianto Jones walked over to the desk and perched on the edge, as he'd done so many times before. Jack wasn't sure whether the emotions he was feeling now were coming from future Jack or himself, or both, but they almost brought him to his knees._

_ Hands came up around Ianto's waist as he rose up and drew him into a kiss. "I've missed you so much," he whispered, voice cracking. Ianto's warm hands came up to frame his face, drew close for a kiss..._

Jack nearly screamed in frustration when the scene vanished. He looked around desperately, needing to see more, get more information. He didn't know when the vision was from, or how… _how could Ianto be alive, in the future? _ Desperately he picked up machine from where it had fallen on floor.

"I'd freeze if I were you," a voice startled him.

Then the light came on to reveal two Torchwood agents standing by the door. Collins reached out to take the alien machine from Jack's reluctant hands, while Brett kept a gun trained on him.

"We have tech to monitor any alien energy readings in the city. Imagine our surprise when we happened to get an alert at home that there had been a discharge right here in the Hub," Brett informed him. "You want to tell me who you are and why you've broken in?"

"And _how_ you broke in," Collins added.

"You don't understand, I need to find out..." Jack insisted, eyes not leaving the ghost machine. Desperate to see the future again. _A future with Ianto..._

"And what do you want with that alien device?" Brett asked when he saw that the prisoner's attention was more focused the machine than the gun pointed at him.

Jack struggled to pull himself together. He was aggraviated with the stupid mistake he'd made. Truth be told, the ghost machine's allure had far more to do with seeing Ianto again than spying on Torchwood. Emotion had made him careless, and now he was paying the price. It was supposed to be a simple, easy, quick job. A day or two of snooping, pop out before Gwen returned with no one the wiser.

"Shall we take this into the interrogation room instead?" Brett barked when he wasn't getting any answers to his questions.

"I didn't break in," Jack told them. The jig was up, as they say. He should use his escape route and cut his losses. His vortex manipulator had been fixed to allow teleportation for just such a possibility. The Doctor wouldn't be pleased, but truth be told the primary mission was all but eclipsed by Jack's burning desire to find out why he was able to see his dead lover in a vision of the future. Suddenly Jack didn't care if Torchwood burned itself to the ground again.

"That's Jack Harkness," a new voice informed them as Ianto Williams walked into the room.

"What?!" Brett exclaimed.

"Technically he's your boss, by the way," Williams added with a grin. "So you might not want to be holding a gun on him."

"Bloody hell," Collins said.

Jack knew Williams thought he was helping, by bailing Jack out of a tough spot. Jack himself wasn't so sure. His plans would have to be adjusted once again.

Brett shoved the gun into his waistband angrily. "The boss spying on the employees, is that what this is all about?!"

"Um... yes?" Jack scratched his head. "What I'm doing here is strictly need-to-know. And you're not on the list."

"Does Gwen know you're here?" Brett asked.

Jack and Brett regarded each other for a moment before Jack finally answered. "No. She doesn't."

"And what are _you_ doing here?" Collins asked Ianto. "You're mam would have a fit."

Williams shrugged. "We get the alerts on our computer at home too, you know. Dad was snoring in front of the telly."

"You know what?" Brett said with a glance at Collins. "Fuck this shit. Let's go." He started for the door.

"You're leaving?" Jack asked, surprised.

"You're the boss," he answered slightly mockingly. "You aren't gonna tell us what you're doing here, and it's not my business, right? We could have stayed in bed." He grabbed Collin's arm and pulled him towards the exit. "Have fun."

"That's different," Jack noted, after the two agents had left. "My old team would have never let it go."

"I'm sorry," Williams began. "I figured your cover was already blown, so I'd better let them know who you were before they threw you in a cell."

It was all too much suddenly, standing there with Ianto's ghost all around him, as well as all the other spirits of the Hub. Death was everywhere, and this boy was grinning at him like it was Christmas.

"This isn't a game, kid," Jack told him, grabbing his shoulders. "It's not Men in Black, or James Bond, or any of the other fantasies you've got in your head about the glamorous and exciting world of Torchwood. You must have seen the wall – it _kills_ people. Listen to your mam and give yourself a future. Don't end up like... your namesake."

"Ianto Jones," Williams said, and Jack tried not to flinch at hearing the name out loud. "Mam told me he was a hero who died saving the world."

"He shouldn't have died, don't you get it?! It was stupid, and reckless, and..." _Shouldn't have happened._ Ianto Williams was his mother's problem. Jack had plenty of his own. "I have to go."

"She'll be mad when she finds out you were here."

"Won't be the first time Gwen Cooper is mad at me, and I'm sure it won't be the last."

"But what about our... your operation?"

"Cover was blown, remember? It's over. Go home to bed, kid, before your dad wakes up and finds out gone."

"But..."

Before Williams had a chance to protest further, Jack had pressed a button on the strap on his wrist, and disappeared.

**CHAPTER TWO:**

"_Love is a form of hope, and like hope, love abides."_ – Thirteenth Doctor

Jack sagged as he materialized at the new location, trying to shore up his reserves to deal with the Doctor. He did a double-take, looking around him in confusion. He didn't recognize his surroundings, and it was most certainly _not_ where he was supposed to be. It was naggingly familiar though. The room was brown and blue, the walls, if that's what they were, looked almost woven. There was a console in the middle, and crystals rising up from it. Sort of an organic meets steam punk vibe. Which, actually, did remind him of the...

"Jack!" a woman exclaimed, turning from where she'd been concentrating on something in the console. She had short blond hair, and was wearing a long light colored coat over blue trousers, a shirt with a multicolored stripe across it, and braces. "What a brilliant surprise!" she enthused, abandoning her controls to come closer.

"And who are you?" he asked brusquely, not up to any more surprises and definitely not in the mood to chat anyone up, even an attractive someone.

"Whoa, not the same old Jack then," she noted. "Could say the same of myself now, can't I?" She stood in front of him, clearly waiting for something.

And then the obvious fixed itself in his brain. "It can't be. You're... _Doctor_?"

"Surprise! Great to see you again, Jack, truly. Nice of you to pop in. What do you think of her redecorating? Did it herself, she did, very proud. Why are you here? How did you get here?" she asked, with barely a breath between sentences.

"You really haven't changed," Jack said with a laugh that almost turned into a sob. "I'm not supposed to be here... I don't think."

"Nonsense. You're here, so obviously you're supposed to be. Where do you think you were supposed to be?"

"Another Tardis. The Doctor... the version of you I've been working with, he calibrated my vortex manipulator so that I could return to his Tardis when I was ready. Instead I ended up on this one."

"Fascinating. Well, you're here now. What can I help you with?"

That was the question. Jack rubbed a weary hand over his face, gearing up for whatever was coming. "Will you help me?" he asked, feeling the weight of the situation pressing him down again. "I've never asked you for anything. _Please_."

"Tell me," she ordered gently.

To go through all this again, with another version of the Doctor, wasn't pleasant. He steeled himself, and started at the end. "A device came through the rift over two decades ago, we called it the ghost machine," he smiled a little at better memories. "It was a quantum transducer. The other night I used it to see the future."

"Naughty Jack," she commented.

"I was trying to get information that _you_ wanted," he retorted defensively.

"Oh. All right then, continue."

"I saw," he swallowed on a dry mouth. "I saw myself with Ianto. Ianto Jones, my... the man I..." he took a deep breath and continued. "He died twenty years ago, but I _saw_ him in the future."

"Interesting."

"I need to know how, why. Will you help me?" he asked, cursing himself for his begging. He watched her as she visibly thought it over.

"If you saw it in the future, it must happen. I mean, obviously it's only one _possible_ future, but you're here so I must have helped you. So in order to preserve what happens, we've got to make sure it does."

"Is that a yes?" he breathed, not wanting to hope.

"Jack, you must tell me _everything_, even if it doesn't seem significant. Start at the beginning."

Jack lowered himself onto the bench behind him, he needed to be sitting for this. "It started when an alien race called the 456 arrived," he began. He tried to remain unemotional, just give the facts of that horrible week without reliving the emotions. It wasn't easy. When he got to the part about Stephen, he couldn't stop his voice from breaking. He wasn't over it, and it would be a very long time before he could remember those days without pain so deep he felt like he was drowning in it.

The Doctor sat down beside him. "I'm sorry Jack, I am. I can't change that part. I know you don't want to hear it, but I understand. I know the pain of losing, I've lost so much myself and I have to live with it, every day. If there was a way, I would."

Jack nodded in acknowledgment. "Thank you for that."

"Now, is there anything else? I need something else, something to work with. A way 'round."

"I saw him once before this," Jack admitted. "Ianto. At the House of the Dead pub. There was an entity called Syriath, she'd been trapped beneath the rift-"

"Oh dear," the Doctor cut in.

"You know her?"

"Who do you think trapped her there?"

"Well, she was bringing the dead back to help her destroy the world. She... Ianto was there. She tried to use him against me, so that I wouldn't blow up the rift and destroy her. He was so real..."

"It wasn't him."

Jack bit his tongue. He didn't tell her that he wanted to die there with Ianto, that his lover had tricked him into surviving. There were too many days when he wished his plan had worked.

"A copy," the Doctor explained. "Not quite a ghost, not real either, made from pieces taken out of time, rift energy, and memories."

"The rift is open," Jack remembered. "When I went back to Cardiff, it was open, but..."

"Of course it is!" The doctor said, jumping up. "Because we're already changed it. Oh, I am quite brilliant. I'm sure it will work."

"What will work?" Jack asked, the seed of hope taking root in his soul again. It felt like being on a roller coaster.

"My plan." She whirled around and came closer again, crouching down in front of him, resting her hands lightly on his knees. "I need to tell you something first. There are things in the past that I regret. I didn't treat you very well, and... I apologize, Jack. For everything."

Hearing the words he'd needed for so long, yet given up on, Jack could only swallow hard and nod. "That...that means a lot, Doc."

The Doctor rose again. "Now then. Let's go get your Ianto back!"

XXX

The Tardis materialized outside the House of the Dead. Timing needed to be perfect, so accordingly Jack was more than a little worried as they left the ship. Once outside, he could see Ianto, about to sacrificing himself to the rift. His past self was talking to him.

Ianto's eyes widened in surprise as he saw the group of people behind his Jack, but before the immortal could turn around to see what Ianto was staring at, Ryan hit him over the head with a bat. He crumpled to the ground.

"What the hell's going on?" Ianto asked, staring directly at present Jack.

"You've got to come with us, _now_," he implored.

"But..."

"No time," the Doctor declared, grabbing Ianto's arm and dragging him away from the Pub.

Carrying out their roles in the plan, companions Ryan and Graham manhandled the unconscious former time agent into the Tardis. Jack pulled Ianto with him. The doctor went to deal with Syriath, taking Yasmin with her.

They'd barely gotten inside when Jack had Ianto in his arms, kissing him senseless. It _had_ been a long time, after all. Too long.

"Oi!" Graham complained. "You'd best do that elsewhere, he'll come to any minute."

"So what?" Jack retorted. "We're gonna retcon him anyway."

"No, _we're_ going to retcon him," Ryan corrected. "You're to take Ianto an keep scarce till we finish." The Doctor wasn't totally happy with that part, but it was the only way they knew to preserve the timeline. Jack would be given the suggestion that he had seen Ianto destroy himself with the rift, and had been knocked unconscious in the blast. If his memory was a bit fuzzy, he'd attribute it to grief. Time would play out the same as it had originally.

"Twist my arm why don't ya?" Jack grinned and pulled Ianto with him down the hall. "Hopefully the Tardis hasn't redecorated my room."

"Jack, wait," Ianto was trying to halt their progress. "What's going on?"

"I'll tell you, I promise." The door to his room appeared on their right, and he ushered Ianto inside, pleased to see nothing had changed there. It was old, familiar, and comforting. Exactly what he needed right now. "I'm sorry, Ianto."

"You're scaring me. This is the Tardis. One of them is the Doctor?"

Jack kissed him again, long and desperate. "We aren't here to save you," he admitted when he pulled away. It destroyed him to say but this was still Ianto, copy or no, and he couldn't bear for him to be thinking he was going to make it out of this. Despised the hope Ianto had probably felt upon seeing them arrive like the cavalry.

Ianto swallowed. "I didn't expect so," he said, but it was clear the words had disturbed him. "I was prepared to die closing the rift," he told Jack reproachfully.

Jack smiled shakily, cupping his lover's cheek. "My hero. The doctor will take care of Syriath."

"And what of me?"

Jack wanted to wait until the Doctor was free, let her explain, but he gathered his courage around him and faced Ianto himself. "We need you to make one more sacrifice. We need you to save yourself."

"I don't understand..."

Jack tugged Ianto to sit on the bed with him, holding onto his hand. "You're a ghost, remember?"

"Not feeling like one at the moment," he replied, squeezing Jack's hand to emphasize his point.

"A replica, I guess you could say. According to the Doctor, you were created by Syriath from pieces, rift energy, and memories."

"Oh," Ianto said, looking down.

Jack framed Ianto's face with his hands. "You are the bravest man I've ever known."

Ianto smiled, his expression pleased at the compliment, yet resigned to his fate. As always.

"It's the only way," Jack said desperately. "If there was any other way..."

"How?"

"If you go back with us to Thames House, we can switch you with... with the..."

"_Real_ me?" Ianto suggested wryly.

"The other you. You'll take his place, and he'll come with us. He'll be safe."

Ianto was silent for a few minutes before speaking again. "And if we walked out the door right now?"

Jack shook his head reluctantly. "The Doctor says you aren't... permanent. Your form will degrade until... But it's your choice, Ianto. I won't force you to do it. If you want to stay with me, for whatever time we have." It would destroy him, but he'd do it. It was past time he started making amends for all his sins.

"I can see what that cost you to offer," Ianto told him. "And we both know I wouldn't do it. Much as I might want to."

Jack kissed him softly. "I love you."

Ianto smiled bemusedly. "I've been hearing that lately."

"Any you, _all_ yous," Jack told his lover, placing kisses over his face with each word. "We have some time..." he said, his meaning clear.

"Will the Doctor need help?"

"She's got all the help she needs," Jack told him, pushing them both over onto the bed, covering Ianto's body with his own. "There's nowhere else I want to be right now."

"Wait, _she_?!" Ianto said before Jack took away his ability to talk for a long time.

XXX

"I'm sorry."

"You keep saying that, too," Ianto told him. They were lying together after the passion had been spent, zealously clinging to their brief time together.

"I have a lot to be sorry about."

"It's not your fault Syriath decide to... to do this."

"Maybe. You always put up with me, no matter what."

"You're worth it," Ianto told him, reaching out to run a hand down his arm.

Jack shook his head. "No. I'm not, but you do anyway. No one has loved me like that in a long time. Maybe never," he admitted.

"But you'll have him now, right? So it's okay."

_You dying on me will __**never**__ be okay. _ Jack choked on the words that fought to escape. It wasn't fair to burden this Ianto with more than he already had. Instead, he reached over to get a piece of paper out of his trousers pocket. "Here. I wrote down what I can remember of our conversation." Because he couldn't bring himself to say those last words aloud again. "Don't want to risk any chance of altering anything, so if you could," he coughed. "Probably best for us to make sure we say the exact same things. It was... a pivotal time in my life. I don't, I can't go through all this again to fail again."

Ianto read the words, and Jack waited. "Did you say it back?" he asked when he'd gotten to the end.

_Don't. _ "I'll say it as many times as it takes for you to believe me. I love you, Ianto Jones, I always will. And I'll never forget you." He'd omitted his biggest regret. How could he explain to this Ianto why he hadn't said it back at the time he'd needed it most? Ianto deserved more. Lies and sins of omission. Was that all Jack had to offer his lovers? Somehow, he had to find a way to make things better. When he got Ianto back, he had to make it right. For both of them.

XXX

Shortly after their difficult conversation, the two men made their way out to the main room. They were holding hands, Jack smiling and Ianto blushing. The Doctor and her companions were there, and the other Jack was gone.

"Did you have any trouble with Syriath?" Jack asked the Doctor.

"All sorted," the Doctor responded. "Sent her right back where she came from. She won't be bothering you again."

"She did escape once," Ianto felt the need to point out.

"Ianto does have a point," Jack had to add when the Doctor didn't answer.

"Oh, I see, you don't trust me. That's how it is, I understand."

"_We_ trust you," Ryan said, glaring at the newcomers as if affronted that they would insult his Doctor.

"We do?" Yaz asked.

"Enough with the kidding," the Doctor stated, changing the subject. "Mr. Jones, welcome to my Tardis. I wish we could have met in person under better circumstances." She looked a question at Jack, who nodded, silently letting her know Ianto had been told.

"When the world wasn't ending," Ianto agreed.

"This is Yaz, and Graham, and Ryan. Team Tardis," she introduced proudly.

"Nice to meet you," Ianto told them.

"Same," Graham said.

"Is there anything we can... maybe dinner? A spot of tea?" Yasmin asked awkwardly.

"Last meal?" Ianto said bluntly into their discomfort. "No, I'd rather get this over with if you don't mind."

Jack's arm slid around his waist, lending silent support. He wondered how many times he'd have to lose Ianto Jones. To experience it yet again, to let him go. Once was more than enough, but he seemed doomed to repeat this devastating goodbye over and over.

**CHAPTER THREE:**

_Seeking shelter for a weary heart  
A place to rest, a place to hide  
Then somewhere down your troubled road  
You find a place where love abides*_

Jack and Ianto were nearly to Thames House, just turning a corner when a car cut in front of the convertible Jack was driving. Unable to stop in time, he smashed into it with an unpleasant crunch.

"We don't have time for this," Jack growled.

"I'll take care of it," Ianto told him, getting out of the car.

The dark haired female driver was already surveying the damage. She turned angrily to Ianto.

"Look what you did to my car?! I can't believe this!"

"You cut in front of us, we didn't have a chance to stop," Ianto told her angrily.

She continued her rant. "I'm going to be late for work, and you just... look at this!" she grabbed Ianto by the lapel and dragged him closer to the damage.

Jack had left the car the minute the stranger put her hands on his partner, intending to intervene.

Unfortunately for him, at that moment an older man came up to him. "Excuse me sir, can you help me?" he thrust a large map in Jack's face. "I'm trying to find Westminster Abbey. Never been there before, if you can believe that. I'm rubbish at maps, here, please take a look..."

While Graham distracted Jack and obscured his view with a map in his face, and Ianto was being detained by Yaz, Ryan and the other Ianto slipped out of the alleyway they were parked in front of. Ryan stuffed a chloroformed rag into Ianto's face and dragged him off, while the replica took his place. The whole switch only took seconds.

"Get out of my face, and go find a tourist office," Jack growled at Graham, shoving the map back at him and turning his attention to his partner.

"You know," Yaz was saying, "it's just a bump, really. No worries."

"Are you sure?" Ianto said, playing along.

Yaz looked at her watch. "Is that the time?! I have to run, if I'm late for work again I'll be fired. Here's my card," she pushed it into his hand. "Contact me and we'll sort things out. There's not as much damage as I thought."

"Right, if you're sure," Ianto said, but he was already heading back to the convertable.

Yaz winked at him before getting into the car she'd been driving.

"I hate London," Jack told him when they were on their way to Thames House again.

"Not more than I do," Ianto told him.

XXX

"He must have been so scared," Jack whispered, tears sliding down his cheeks. "That man is... God, he's the most incredible..."

The Doctor sat down beside him, shoulder to shoulder. "You know when I first heard about your young man, I wondered what kind of Earthling could _possibly_ tempt the Universal playboy Jack Harkness to settle down. Now I understand."

"I treated him badly," Jack admitted.

"So do better."

Jack reached over and took her hand, squeezing tightly. "Thank you," he breathed, putting all the emotion he felt into it. "For everything, and for this... I owe you now."

"The way I see it, we're square. Now, you'd best get in there, he'll be waking soon."

Jack stood up, wiping his face and trying to compose himself. "Yeah, and I get to have my second difficult, painful conversation of the day. Maybe it's the third," he added, looking at the Doctor.

"This one has a happy ending," she told him.

XXX

Ianto's eyes snapped open and he surged up in the bed. Jack, who was sitting beside him, put out a hand to gentle him.

"Easy. Everything's okay."

"What happened?!" Ianto demanded, looking around the room wildly. "Where am I?"

"You're on the Tardis."

"The Doctor came!" Ianto surmised, sitting up entirely.

Jack smiled sadly. "Not exactly."

"I'm not in the mood for puzzles, Jack. The last I remember..." Jack could see him searching his memory. "You kidnapped me! You kidnapped me..." his voice softened the second time, his quick mind obviously already coming up with some undoubtedly accurate theories. "Must be to stop me from going into Thames House," he continued surmising. "How far in the future are you from?"

"Dammit, Ianto! Did anyone tell you you're too clever for your own good?"

Ianto's lips quirked upwards. "Might've."

"Although I suppose I should let you guess, that way I wouldn't have to put myself through this again."

"It's true, isn't it?"

"Yes," Jack forced out through gritted teeth.

"I died."

Jack closed his eyes against the words. You'd think he'd be used to them by now. He felt Ianto's hand cover his.

"Did you stop the 456? Were the children safe?"

"Yes." He'd sworn he wasn't going to cry again, but the tears didn't listen. He felt them mounting a rebellion. "The cost... it was too high, Ianto. God, too high." He gathered Ianto to him and buried his face in his lover's neck.

"Me." Jack nodded against his skin. "Who else?"

"My grandson."

"Oh God, Jack." His arms tightened. "I'm so sorry. Wait, the Doctor saved me, right? Can't he-"

"**I don't want to talk!**" Jack yelled, at the end of his endurance. "Can we just not talk now?!"

There was silence for a few moments after his outburst. Then, Ianto gathered him closer, rocking him. Like he used to do, down in the bunker after one of his nightmares...

"You weren't there." It the midst of his meltdown, Jack rambled on. "You _were_ my nightmares. No, I'm sorry. It's my fault..."

"Shh... Don't."

Jack stiffened at the word. He pulled back and grabbed Ianto's face. "I love you." Maybe if he kept saying it, it would eventually get easier. Part of him still found the words difficult.

Ianto's eyes widened at the declaration. "I..." he looked down in embarrassment. "I feel the same, you know." He snorted at himself. "I never expected _you_ to be the first one with the courage to say it. I love you, too."

"I know we have a lot to talk about, I know I need to do better, I know. But can we just...talk later?"

"Later," Ianto agreed, coaxing Jack's mouth to his.

XXX

Jack discovered a forgotten bottle of alien liquor stashed in his dresser, and a few shots helped the words come easier. He was so numb he barely remembered what he'd said after it was done, but the one thing he focused on was that Ianto didn't hate him for what he'd done.

"How could I hate you for sacrificing your own grandson, so that _our_ families could keep theirs? God Jack, I don't know if I would have had the strength."

"You have no idea," Jack told him fervently, thinking of all the sacrifices Ianto _had_ made, many of them for Jack. "You're amazing. Don't ever doubt yourself."

Ianto blushed at the compliment, helping himself to more liquor to cover his embarrassment.

"What do you want to do now?" Jack asked, needing to change the subject again.

"We can't go back home, can we." It wasn't a question.

Jack shook his head. "I'm sorry. You're dead to the world. We can get you a new identity, live in another country, but you can't have your old life back."

"I don't know what to do," Ianto admitted. "It's all a bit overwhelming at the moment."

"Do you know what _I_ want?" Jack asked.

"What?"

"If I tell you what I _really_ want, do you promise to believe me?"

"All right," Ianto agreed warily.

"I want a holiday."

Ianto raised his eyebrows with a _that's it?_ expression.

"No, I mean a _long_ holiday. Like say, sixty or seventy years. Where no one has to die and I'm not forced to make impossible decisions or sacrifices. I want time to have a life, no demands. With you," he added, because he was learning that sometimes they both needed things spelled out for them, and both were rubbish at mind reading.

"I suppose we could always open a coffee shop," Ianto began, letting Jack know he was okay with the decision to leave their old lives behind. "Private detective agency?"

"We have time to decide," Jack said. "First, how about a real holiday? Let me show you the stars, Ianto Jones."

"I'd like that."

"We could go to Atlantis."

Ianto wrinkled his brow. "I thought that was supposed to be on Earth?"

"Yeah, _used_ to be. Now it's quite the vacation spot out near the horsehead nebula."

"Might be interesting to find out how many of your stories are actually true," Ianto commented.

"Long as you don't freak out when you find out most of them are," Jack replied.

"I can handle whatever you can throw at me, Harkness," Ianto said, wrapping a hand around his head to draw him closer.

"I'm starting to figure that out," Jack replied, in just a bit like awe.

XXX

"The famous Ianto Jones," the Doctor greeted when the pair eventually joined the others, who were having tea in the kitchen. "Welcome to my Tardis."

"Famous?" Ianto queried.

"Whoops, spoilers." She winked at him.

"Y'know," Jack began, "we make a hell of a team. I'd work with _you_ any time," he told the Doctor with a flirty smile, putting a certain familiar emphasis on the words that had been absent till now.

"Ah, now _there's_ the Jack I know," she said with a grin. "So, what's next gentlemen? Oh! I could marry you. I just recently officiated a marriage. Beautiful, it was. Lovely thing, marriage. Love abides, and all that."

Ianto's eyes widened, like a deer caught in headlights. "I uh, I mean, we can't, uh..." he stuttered, flustered.

"We could," Jack said speculatively after a moment. "I mean, the Doctor offered. The next regeneration might not."

"Quite right," she agreed. "Of course we'll have to pop out and get you a couple of rings first. They've got some lovely bands on Brachous Nine."

"You... you aren't serious..." Ianto said, his attention riveted on Jack.

"Do it right, you prat," Yaz prodded Jack.

Jack took Ianto's hand in his. "Ianto Jones, will you marry me?"

"You don't, you can't really mean..." Ianto was trying to keep himself composed, but his eyes gave him away.

"I know you deserve better, but I want to spend the rest of your life with you, Ianto. If you'll have me."

"Are you sure?"

"Just answer yes or no, you prat," Yaz prodded Ianto.

Jack held his breath.

"Yes," Ianto whispered.

"Time to kiss," Yaz told them, but they were already in each other's arms.

"Wonderful!" the Doctor exclaimed, rubbing her hands together. "I love a happy ending."

_Then hand in hand across the mountains  
And the raging rivers wide  
They reached the distant ocean  
Or found a place where love abides*_

**The end**

Copious notes:

Lyrics from the song _Love Abides,_ by Tom Russell

Note about the switch scene near Thames House: I was originally going to have Jack be suspicious about the obvious set up with the accident and map guy... but then I remembered how STUPID they were in COE, so I figured this Jack wouldn't have suspected a thing.

No clue what regeneration the doctor might be on in 10 years, so I left the one who was working with Jack vague, and decided to use 13 to save Ianto because of her reputation for being caring and providing help to anyone who asked. Don't know if he'll ever meet her, but it was too much fun to introduce them to not have it be the first time. Lucky 13 baby.

I haven't watched Dr. Who, but I watched a lot of You Tube clips, so hopefully I didn't do too badly with 13. I put a bench in the Tardis, because Jack needed a place to sit. As for COE I haven't watched that since it aired, because I REFUSE to.

I was originally going to do a chapter back at the Hub, but in the end felt it wasn't necessary. Gwen is mad about what Jack did, but life goes on. This story isn't about them.

Explanation of what Ianto's 'ghost' is, was made up by me.

Jack and Ianto weren't meant to get engaged. The Doctor offered. Surprised me, too.


End file.
